Realization
by Lyra Dogstar
Summary: Draco somehow gains some of Sirius' skills and ideas about the world. He comes to a shocking realization. Draco's POV. Rated PG13, cause I put some cusswords at the end.


Disclaimer: Not mine  
  
If you read author's notes, they'll be at the bottom from now on, for those who like to just get on with the story.  
  
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I walked into the bathroom. What a strange dream I had last night. Something about a mind-switching spell being put on me, so I was in Sirius Black's body. What a bunch of bullshit. . . I had to stop reading about such strange spell mix-ups.  
  
I splashed warm water onto my face to wake myself up. I turned toward the showers, but spun back to the mirror almost instantly. I didn't look incredibly different, but to somebody who knew my face very well, I was almost alien.  
  
My eyes and eyebrows where different. My eyes were larger, and they weren't their normal gray. They were black. I didn't mind the change in the eyebrows, almost even liked it.  
  
It had been a recent irritation of mine that me eyebrows were the same pale as my hair, making me look like I didn't have any at all. Even worse was when I blushed (which was very rare), or for whatever reason pink in the face, I looked ridiculous with white patches above my eyes. And they were bushy and untidy, making me feel like I was growing a blonde version of Potter's hair on my eyebrows. But now they were dark, thinner, and neat. The contrast between my now dark eyebrows and eyes, and my pale skin and hair was striking. I also realized, with slight satisfaction, that I was taller.  
  
As I turned the knob for the shower, I found a difference that ruined my recent satisfaction with my appearance. My hands where larger now, and bony. They were no longer soft and gentleman-like, but rough, as though I had been working as a servant all his life, and my wrists were thin, as though I had been half-starved.  
  
The day went almost well. Pansy (who I suddenly and unexpectedly found to be ugly) greeted me cheerfully, and said she really thought that I looked more handsome that day. During this time, I found myself thinking things like: 'that stupid girl can't figure out what is different about me' and, 'she *likes* my hands? They're horrible'.  
  
But then came the subject of the war. I didn't know how it came up in class, but I suddenly found the new professor asking what each student thought about the war, and about what they planned to do in life, including what they were going to do about the war. I didn't pay much attention until it was my turn to share my opinion. And strangely, I found my point of view had changed over night.  
  
"I don't know. I guess my plan is to get by in the world. I wanna do well, to be able to feed and clothe myself. But I don't want to get mixed up in things that will put myself in a difficult position that I can't get myself out of. You just kinda have to eat, drink, and make love to life." After I was done, I knew that Father would most likely kill me if he heard me say that. Especially the 'make love to life' thing.  
  
That got me thinking a lot. I suddenly knew things about the world that he never knew before. Things were much more clear and complicated. But ironically, life was much simpler. All I found I wanted to do was make a fair amount of money and live in comfort. I didn't see a big point in killing people I didn't see what it would get me.  
  
I wouldn't get fame, because I would be running around in a mask, and nobody would recognize me.  
  
There was no fortune; how would I get paid for killing people when in disguise?  
  
I wouldn't be respected if people did recognize me, I would only get in a lot of trouble, or have people fear me. I would be the person everybody hated. If I ruled an area of the world, people would eventually rebel. I had seen revolution and such in many books and History of Magic, and the best example of all was the Russian revolution. I had no desire to have people break into my home and shoot me with machine guns.  
  
Other than those things, what did the Death Eaters want? Global peace? The world was doing fine without them, and they were just creating chaos and violence, just to let the world go back into its somewhat serene atmosphere when they were done. What would they get when they conquered the world? All of already had the money to hire people to give them what they wanted.  
  
And then, something popped into my head that I never thought of before. Father had told me about Adolph Hitler. He said that Hitler was deranged, mad. He was trying to achieve something that wasn't possible to anybody, anywhere, anytime. Trying to achieve something that was *wrong*. But here Father was, doing the same thing.  
  
I practically *ran* to the library after lunch. It was Friday, so we didn't have classes in the afternoon. I spent three or four hours reading about World War II. Such things that effected the Wizarding and Muggle world were stored in the school library also. Finally, I reached what I was looking for. Hitler Youth. Hitler glorified the Nazis and deceived the kids of the time to think they were doing it for a good purpose. I felt white-hot rage filling my body, realizing that Father had been doing the same. But he didn't see his one big mistake.  
  
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I gained many skills that year, including many in fighting. I later found out that the Mix-up spell actually did happen the night before, and had skills and a few physical skills possessed by Sirius Black. It later wore off, though my appearance *didn't* go back to normal. Neither did my opinions about the war.  
  
Author's Notes: Hey, what do you think? Please Review  
  
Today's Fun Fact: I was watching "Blade" on TV with my parents out of shear boredom. It was funny on TV, because it was edited. Every "fuck" was changed to "freak". There were a lot of "fucks", so there was one part where a guy said "SHUT THE FREAK UP!!" It made me laugh to see it like that, because it was the first time I saw the movie in the first place, and wasn't used to having anything TV edited. 


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